Making assumptions about people hurts – both on the giving and the receiving ends. This has been heavy on my heart recently as the hurt of judgment from a friend still lingers. It’s not the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last. The initial sting of being judged always sucks, and sometimes it gets worse before it gets better – because there’s most often a domino effect. I write this from experience – from both the giving and the receiving ends.

“And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them,
“Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.””
– John 8:7

In a way, I had felt it coming but that’s mostly in hindsight – after the whammy. Over time, there had been previous backhanded comments by this friend, and I had wondered a couple of times, “Is there something you think you know about me? If there’s something you want to know, just ask?” And, of course, I could have prompted the ask from her, but I didn’t care enough to. It was her problem.

“Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” – John 7:24

Also, it was the passive-aggressive way she came at me – and in front of others. I would have respected her more if it had been one-on-one. Not knowing what to say, I tried to be comical and brush it off, but it was awkward. Later, after contemplating what had happened, I handed it to the Lord, “This hurt is yours God. I’ll only mess it up if I act on it. I lay it down.”

“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger,
 and give no opportunity to the devil.”
– Ephesian 4:26-27

My thoughts can spin, and I didn’t want to fall into the trap of judging her judgment. And I didn’t want to fall into unforgiveness. When I feel hurt, I try to think of God’s heart and remember what’s important to Him.

Mentioning God’s heart makes me think about how He must have felt with all the judgment He went through.

“As soon as Jesus left the table, the religion scholars and Pharisees went into a rage.
They went over and over everything he said,
plotting how they could trap him in something from his own mouth.”
 – Luke 11:53-54, The Message Bible

Have you ever had anyone try to trap you with something you’ve said? Or judge you just because – maybe there was some hang-up they can’t get past. Was it the outfit you had on; the way you wore your hair; maybe a scent you had on; or your choice of jewelry? Why? This article is interesting The Real Reason we Judge Other People (& What it Says about Us) (

Jesus’ own truthful words sent Him to the cross after being charged with blasphemy.

“… Again the high priest questioned him, “Are you the Messiah, the Son of the Blessed One?”
“I am,” said Jesus …”
– Mark 14:61-62

Jesus mixed things up for the Sanhedrin. On many occasions He challenged their authority and called them hypocrites (Matt. 6:2, 5, 16; 15:7; 16:3; and more). He broke their Sabbath laws (Mark 2:23-28; Luke 6:1-11; 13:10-17; and more). He associated with sinners (Mark 2:17; and more). So why are people so afraid of something different than what they are used to? These articles are interesting, Why humans are afraid of difference – Good Magazine and (99+) Why are people so afraid of “different”? | LinkedIn

As I said my prayers that evening of the day my friend hurt me, I included her, and asked that the Lord watch over our friendship. In the early morning the next day, I gathered my things to sit and do my daily Bible study, and after morning prayer, as I opened my Bible, it was impressed upon me that, “That season has changed.”

“For everything there is a season…” – Ecclesiastes 3:1

Photo taken by The MacDuffie School on